My daughter is gay.
She’s only 11 years old and she already knows more about herself and her sexually than her 41 year old father. She wears it proudly, doesn’t hide it and is very confident about who she is.
And again, she’s 11.
And even though it’s not a rare thing to see kids express their sexual identity early on, people still feel it’s a phase.
“She’s too young to know.”
“She’ll change before high school.”
“All kids go though that.”
These are only a few of the response I’ve received since my daughters come out. Some from family, some from friends.
So it bugs me (saying it mildly,) when people accuse kids that are realizing their true self, as going through a phase. One person, an actual therapist, stated, “All the kids are doing it now days”, as if it’s a fad.
Your identity is considered a fad if it doesn’t fit the common idea of puberty?
One complaint I heard was from someone who said, “It’s everywhere”, referring to homosexuality being visible online, in movies. But yet so is sex. It’s all over social media, advertising, TV, movies. A child doesn’t pick up their sexual identity from over exposure on social media or movies. Sexual identity isn’t something picked up, just like promiscuity isn’t something we learn.
Kids now a days are experiencing things that no previous generation has ever experienced. Back in the early 90’s, my idea of depression was the calmness I gained from listening to a Smashing Pumpkins LP. But nowadays kids can research, connect, witness and accept so much more than I ever did as a teenager. But yet we shut them down when they discover themselves?
We congratulate a kid when they get great grades. We celebrate when the kid achieves something like winning a game or performing on a school show. But when a child comes out to her/his parents about a major thing that they’ve learned about themselves, we shut them up, tell them its just a passing issue, that they’ll grow out of it?
I’ve bitten my tongue a few times in responding because at first I didn’t know exactly how to respond. Took me all while to find my words.
What I’ve learned from my daughter is that it’s not a choice that one makes. It’s a part of your identity. It’s like a mole on your cheek, or your brown eyes. Its you.
It’s discovered. It’s realized. It’s accepted.
So yeah, she might change before becoming an adult. But who cares! It’s all apart of her journey in becoming her true self.
So to all those idiots out there who feel that 11 is too young to know yourself I say, shut the fuck up and keep your small minded bullshit to yourself.