Tag Archives: single parent

Hardest Lesson.

I’ve learned a lot of things being a single parent.

No matter how prepared you want to be leaving your home with a newborn/ toddler/youngster, you will never have everything you need.

Its OK to let the dishes sit till tomorrow. Just not till next week.

When it comes to bills, there’s 3 levels of payment options.

  1. Before due date.
  2. Past due date.
  3. Final notice.

Do not shop for groceries you wouldn’t be OK eating past the due date.

The floor will never be clean enough.

Always buy twice as much laundry detergent.

Silence is evil.

Accidents that include cuts/scrapes/bruises are called “boo-boo’s” till the age of 4 or 6. Afterwards they will be regarded as cuts, accidents, war scars (depending on the child).

There is a time and place for lies.

  • Lying to a 7 year old asking where babies come from is wrong.
  • Lying to a 2 year old that the Netflix is currently down because they want to watch that annoying cartoon for the 15th time is right.

Parenthood is bliss. Its all the other time that sucks.IMG070

Sex and Dinner.

A few years ago I was entangled with a young lady. We both worked at the same place and after a week of flirting, she was at my house for dinner. We didn’t even wait till after dinner. The sex was wonderful. For the 5 hours afterwards we kissed, had sex, cuddles, ate and had sex again. The good bye took an hour of kissing in the front of my house. It was a good first date.
A few days passed and she called me while I was home. I have a daughter but she was with her mom at the time.
“Can I come over?”
“Of course”, I answered happily.
Afternoon sex is wonderful. Hurriedly I went through the living room, hallway and bedroom, cleaning, clearing and sorting anything that would kill the mood.
When she pulled up I was surprised to see that it was her and her 5 year old daughter.
Crap.
I wasn’t ready to meet her kid yet.

When your a single parent, dating can be dangerous. For the first year that I was a new single dad, I didn’t even date, have sex or even talk to women. I was so afraid to emotionally scar my kid with different people and faces. I mean, when you break up with someone and there’s kids involved, you break up with the kids too. So dating had become something I threaded on softly.

Rule 1. Never meet my kid within the first 10 dates. And that depends on allot of factors.
Rule 2. I don’t want to meet your kid any time before you meet mine.

I know for some people it does work and they feel differently about this and that’s great for them. For me, sorry, tooo soon.
I need to feel comfortable with you before I even imagine you meeting my daughter. And I don’t mean physically. Desire, lust, whatever you want to call it, it’s a feeling that’s different than being emotionally comfortable with someone. Feeling an attraction is enough for me to allow myself to get close with someone, to feel intimacy. But the other? Hell, I have friends that have never met my daughter all because I’m not ready for them to become that close.

So back to the scene;
She walked up my driveway with this little girl clinging on to her thigh.
Suddenly I felt all that last minute cleaning was a huge waste of time.
She was a good kid. But I however felt a little freaked out.
The following night she invited me over to her house. I had opened up to her about feeling a little nervous about meeting her daughter so soon. She said she could tell I wasn’t too comfortable. She said she was sorry for that and that and promised the next time it would be just us
I was excited again.
As I walked up towards her door I heard her daughter laughing out loud.
Fuck me, not again.
Her daughter’s dad flaked out on her so she had to stay home with mom for the weekend.
Well played sir. Cock blocking at its finest.
The night was odd and even more uncomfortable.
Here’s the next scene;
I was asked by the little girl if I could read her a story.
A stuttering, “sure” was my response.
So I sat on the bed next to her (her mom and her shared the bedroom).
Now, you may ask yourself,”why did you stay man?!”
Well simply because mom had given me hints through out the evening that I would still be rewarded for my patience and understanding.
“I can still do things to you on the couch. I’m very talented with my mouth.”
Need I say more?
“Ok”, I replied as I laid down next to her, getting ready to read A Cat in the Hat.
Half way through the first page mom decided to lay on top of me as I’m reading the book…. Yeah.
I was laying next to a little girl in a Disney nightgown, trying to read a children’s book, while starting to have an erection due to her mom laying on top of me, knowing damn well that mom could feel me throbbing. Do you see how this was all confusing?
I couldn’t take it. I mean, I’m a dog, as much as the next guy. But all that was too much for me. I left minutes later and that was that.
So as I skim past my Facebook Friends Suggestions, I see her name (we share mutual friends from our previous employer). Her profile pic shows her standing in front of the mirror with a big belly. About 8 months pregnant of a belly. I’m happy for her. I really, really am. But at the same time, as I make dinner for myself and daughter, unattached and single, I wonder what could of been?

I freaking dodged the bullet on that one.