What if my dating profile was honest?

We all know that dating site profiles are not 100% honest. There’s some honesty there, but there’s also what the person posting likes to think of as “adding mystery”. Let’s face it, dating sites are all just glorified used car lots. And we’re the used cars (I’ll be honest, I embellished about my old Ford Explorer). But it’s common practice right? But what if my used car Ad was totally honest? I’m referring to my dating site Ad, not an actual car Ad. I’m not currently selling my car.

Chicano looking for a Chicana.

(Actually, I don’t really care if your Chicana, Asian, Afro-American, Native American or some unknown Swedish/German/Japanese hybrid. I’m lonely and I accept interest from all races.)

    
About     Non-Smoker with A “Few Extra Pounds” body type (I can barely run a mile, let alone inhale cigarette smoke. And a “few extra pounds” was maybe 5 years ago. At this point I would add a good 5% more to that concept)
City      ### New Mexico
Details    40 year old Male, 5′ 7″ (170cm)   
Ethnicity     Other Ethnicity, Capricorn  (I’m not Hispanic or Latino. Those are words created by the mass media to describe the Chicano movement I’m a proud Chicano. But because of this sites restrictions I’ll be listed as ‘OTHER’. So now women will just assume I’m a Jewish guy from the mid-east. ) 
Intent     Not seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment. (I am actually seeking a relationship, but because of fear of coming across as desperate, I’ll hide my true intentions and play it cool. Just imagine me standing against the wall at the club. I’m cool on the outside but oh so lonely within.)    
Education     Some college      (I completed one term of community college. Then I proceeded to foolishly spend my student loan money on worthless items. Like buying my then girlfriend a $400 iPod. Great investment there guy.)
Personality     Free Thinker   (What was I suppose to pick? I’m not a freaking hippy, nor am I a gamer, politician or communist coffee drinker. I’m just me. A middle age guy that prefers to watch Star Wars movies (the original 3 of course) and eat unhealthy meals.) 
Profession     Self Employed  (I started my own business because I couldn’t conform my prior employers to adapt to my relaxed work ethic and sporadic attendance habits.)
I am seeking a :  Woman (And with every day that passes, this detail becomes hazier and hazier.)
For  :   Dating (Or random bouts of uncommitted sex, ego boosting, mothering, justifying my current place in life, etc…)
Do drink? : Yes (Rarely can I afford it.)
Hair color : Gray (After a point, hair coloring becomes too expensive.)
Eye color? : Brown (Sexy brown wasn’t a choice.)
Do you do drugs? : NO (Why? Are you offering?)
Do you have children? : Yes (You will meet them only when it becomes necessary for you to spend the night.)
 Do you want children? : NO (I can barely afford my own kid, why would I want more?)
 Marital Status? : Divorced (I’m used but broken in.)
 Longest relationship? : 6 years (But while in it, it seemed endless.)
 How ambitious are you? : Very (I need a job. I need a job. I need a job.)
 Pets? : Dog ( He is the only one that doesn’t judge my gluttony.)
Second language? : Spanish (Mostly picked up from watching American Me and Blood in, Blood Out.)
About me :
 
I’m a laid back guy that’s looking for a partner in crime. Must have a sense of humor, able to take a joke and enjoy intelligent conversations.
I love hiking, reading and cuddling while watching great, stimulating cinema.
Lets chat and see where it takes us.
Hope to hear from you soon!
(I’m currently laid off from work and looking for a partner who can afford to buy me dinner and spot me gas every so often. My sense of humor is pretty crude and often consisting of fart jokes, playing harsh particle jokes and… Ok I lied. I hate intelligent conversations…
I usually walk everywhere since I don’t have insurance on my vehicle at the moment, I read a lot of Facebook post and I love porn.
I’m convinced that all phone conversations will eventually lead to phone sex.
Message me. I need a ride to the grocery store.)

DISCLAIMER NOTICE
This Dating Site is not responsible for contracted STD’s, disappointments, additional sadness (stemming from, harsh judgments, honesty or bluntness connected to your fake profile), job loss or overall embarrassment.
 Enjoy!

 

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